


Vacation Planning

by AnonEhouse



Category: Captain America (Movies), Iron Man (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Cap_Ironman Bingo, Established Relationship, Fluff, Humor, M/M, Vacation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-30
Updated: 2015-07-30
Packaged: 2018-04-12 03:16:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 872
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4463363
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnonEhouse/pseuds/AnonEhouse
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Steve and Tony discuss their vacation plans. It's not easy when you're an Avenger.</p><p>(Takes place in a movieverse where the Avengers took Tony up on his offer of Tower space and Pepper and Tony were never an item. Basically ignores everything after the first Avengers movie.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Vacation Planning

(If you are reading this on any PAY site this is a STOLEN WORK, the author has NOT Given Permission for it to be here. If you're paying to read it, you're being cheated too because you can read it on Archiveofourown for FREE.)

"We need a vacation," Tony announced. He poked at the largest burn-edged hole in Steve's uniform. "Preferably one where no one is shooting at us."

"I'm not arguing with you, Tony," Steve replied, tugging at Tony's warped chest plate. "But the logistics... we're needed here, and whenever we DO try to sneak off for a weekend away, or even a lunch out, a villain pops up out of the woodwork." The chest plate released with a squeal. Steve set it aside.

"Yeah, I know." Tony took off his helmet and grinned at Steve, who'd already removed his own cowl; one of his wings was sadly scraped. "I paid to have the restaurant rebuilt. Maybe if we left the state? A nice dude ranch in Arizona?" Tony blinked. "I must have got hit on the head harder than I thought."

"Lemme see." Steve ran his hands through Tony's hair. "There's a little bump. You're fine."

Tony sighed. "I miss the days when you'd insist on an x-ray."

"I didn't want to say you ought to have your head examined," Steve said with a straight face. 

Tony's eyes narrowed. "Dirty pool, Steve. Fine. I'll let JARVIS do it, right after he checks your ribs."

"They're only bruised and you know I heal fast." 

Tony folded his still armored arms and was silent. Steve held out for a few seconds, and then he shrugged. "If it'll make you feel better."

"It will. That and a large Scotch."

"No drinking until after JARVIS looks at you. You might need medication," Steve said. He sat down and pulled off his boots.

Tony walked over to the dis-armoring stand, and let the machinery figure out how to remove the rest of his armor. "Bossy. You are so bossy."

"You promised to love, honor and obey," Steve said, wiggling his toes.

"I ... I do not remember that. Are you sure that was in there?" The armor bits retreated to the work stands where Tony could inspect to see what was salvageable, peeling him quickly down to his black under suit.

"Pretty sure. We spent a week arguing over wording until we gave up and just went with the standard ceremony."

"Oh, yeah. I do remember you put your foot down on the requirement of three orgasms per day."

"I don't believe in setting limits." Steve stood, stretched and undid the fastenings on his uniform top, wincing slightly as it pulled away. Tony's eyes narrowed, but he didn't remark on it. "What if we went over? Would we be breaking our vows?"

"Never." Tony walked over to Steve and leaned against him. "We could do a house swap with some other hero teams? A change is as good as a rest, someone old-fashioned once told me."

Steve huffed a short laugh. "Yeah, who would we switch with? The X-Men? I'm not having you facing Magneto. And the Fantastic Four just... no, I wouldn't trust Johnny Storm in our Tower, he's too reckless."

"He's young. He'll settle down once he has a few years on him. But yeah, you're right, we'd just be trading one set of problems for another."

"Maybe we could take a cruise," Steve said.

"Mmm, Rhine river wine and cheese? No, that's only a day." Tony put his arms around Steve. "Ocean voyage? Titanic was romantic."

"Up until the iceberg, yeah."

"Sorry. Forgot about the ice." Tony sighed. "We never even got a honeymoon."

Steve kissed Tony's cheek. 

"I could design a virtual reality system and we could have a pretend vacation?"

Steve kissed Tony's throat.

"Make a few dozen Life Model Decoys of us, and send them all over the place to distract the baddies while we soak up the sun in Aruba?"

Steve sucked a hickey into Tony's neck.

"Ah. Vegas! We could see all the shows."

Steve leaned back. "You know we'd just spend all the time in our room. We can do that here."

Tony whined, and leaned back against Steve again. "I just... I want to give you a vacation. You never had one, not really."

Steve was silent for a long minute, rubbing Tony's back in lazy circles. "You know, Thor's friends..."

"MMM," Tony mumbled. Back rubs tended to knock him out. "Oh. Sif and the Warriors Three? Good name for a band."

"Thor said they'd like to visit Midgard, but they're afraid they'd find it boring."

"They wouldn't think it so boring if they were Avengers," Tony mumbled. "I swear every time I turn around, we're fighting another power-mad megalomaniac ... oh." Tony's brain caught up with his mouth. "Thor says Asgard is very beautiful."

"Great works of art."

"Fantastic armor and banquets with great food and booze every night."

"Everyone's stronger than us, there," Steve said wistfully.

"So we wouldn't be expected to save the day even if someone decided to shoplift Odin's crown or whatever." Tony closed his eyes and smiled. "Yeah. Let's do it. House swapping is so passé, realm-swapping is the new thing."

**Author's Note:**

> A fill for the 'Vacation' square on my Cap-Ironman Bingo card.
> 
>  
> 
> [ Chinese translation here](http://m.weibo.cn/2832665724/3873199412269462?sourceType=sms&from=1054095010&wm=9006_2001)


End file.
